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How to talk to Children about Death - Into the Deep

by Olivia Spears

How to talk to Children about Death

We are mid-way through the month of the Holy Souls, so let's discuss talking about death with our children. This is something our family has been forced into, as we have had many close family members die in the past few years. My children are far more acquainted with the concept of death than I was at their age, and while I hate that in many ways, I'm also grateful in many ways. Much like childbirth, our sanitized society is so removed from the natural cycle of death that it is almost taboo. But death is a part of reality, and I'm thankful that the Church always stands as a beacon of light on the shore of Heaven to remind us that this world is not our home. So if you worry about your children learning about death, or struggle with how to appropriately discuss death with your children in a way that is developmentally healthy, here are a few things we've learned from personal experience and the professionals we've consulted along the way.   1️⃣ Normalize it (within your local community) We don't have to hide death from our children. When someone in our community passes away, we can share that information. We can bring our children to cemeteries and funeral homes. It will not scar them; on the contrary, it will help them understand the normal cycle of life and death which can help them be less fearful. *It is important to note that this is appropriate within the context of the child's relational circle. It can be quite harmful to share uninhibited news of global tragedy with a small child.   2️⃣ Let them see you grieve Another way children can learn to relate to death in a healthy way is to see you be sad about it. If a friend or family member dies, it is good for your child to see you cry and miss the person. Again, this helps form their perception of death and how to process it properly.   3️⃣ Listen, answer, pray Children may have a lot of questions about death, especially if someone close to them dies. These questions will often come at inconvenient times! But it's good to pause and listen to their hearts. Answer only what they ask about, and then offer to pray with them. Death is a mystery, and it helps to show our kids that we must always bring our hearts, questions, and sadness to Jesus when we are confronted with death.   4️⃣ Underscore everything with hope in Christ The final and most important point: always share about death in light of the Resurrection of Jesus. Death is not the end! Even in our grief we hold onto the hope of eternal life with God. This is why we pray for the dead in November! It is hope and confidence that fuels our petitions. The comfort and victory of Christ is the lens through which we can help our children view death.   A Useful Guide for Families Our Hallowtide Study is a great tool to guide the talk with your littles and direct their hearts to heaven, our eternal home. This 49-pages digital resource contains a buffet of traditional prayers, hymns, history, liturgical events, poems, art, picture books, copywork, coloring pages, activities, and handcrafts for you to pick-and-choose from.   I hope this is helpful as we continue to pray for the dearly departed in November!   Ready to dive deeper?  Here are 4 ways to fill your nets...   1. Memorize Bible verses with your children easily with our FREE guide: Stocking the Storehouses  2. Make your dreams of family prayer a reality with The Daily Feast framework, making it possible in just a few minutes a day. This free guide shows you how.  3. Want to steward your own prayer life? Check out this Scripture prayer journal we made just for you.  4. Looking to level-up in your family faith formation? Join over 10,000 families that use our resources. We make open-and-go, family-style resources to make your role as primary catechist easy AND delightful. Click here to browse!

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Self-Discipline in the Home + Homeschool - Into the Deep

by Olivia Spears

Self-Discipline in the Home + Homeschool

Self-discipline is key to success in our endeavors and for our sanity. Particularly in the long haul of motherhood, self-discipline protects priority and peace.Self-discipline is a habit. In fact, it is the foundation of habit formation. Whole books can and have been written on self-discipline. Here, I would like to look at self-discipline in the life of the homemaker in three areas: the heart the will the life The Heart We can stay stuck in our emotions when it comes to self-discipline. Sometimes there’s a lot of shame around the idea. The Holy Spirit can use our emotions to convict us. He pricks our conscience. But there is a big difference between:"I notice that when I scroll on my phone right after I wake up instead of praying, I’m much less patient with the kids’ needs." and  "I’m always cranky with the kids in the morning, the worst mother, and I’m probably just screwing them up."One thought is the conviction that spurs us to the right action; the other is condemnation that leads us to despair and low-level comfort-seeking.When we spiral like this, we tend to focus more on the circumstances rather than our interior lives.But the heart is precisely where we must begin.Whatever your external circumstances, the Lord sees the heart. This is paramount in the life of the mother because our seasons shift often and dramatically. Self-discipline in one season will look different from self-discipline in another.We must be more attached to Jesus than our schedules.We must listen to His voice over self-condemnation.We must ask Him to cast the vision for self-discipline in this season rather than the latest Reel promising to enhance our morning routine. Resources can help, but not more than the Holy Spirit.If our goals for self-discipline are not a fruit of prayer we will likely end up defeated or self-reliant.So before we address any other areas, we should ask the Lord for His wisdom and vision for this season of our lives.And if we want to grow in self-discipline, let’s ask Him for help!   The Will   As we allow the Lord to transform our hearts and clarify our vision, He is going to give us opportunities to practice! After all, we grow in virtue by doing things consistently and intentionally.Once the Holy Spirit has shown you how to grow in self-discipline this particular season, focus your energy there. We all-or-nothing types often hear the Holy Spirit’s marching order for one step forward, then go blazing into the full battlefield.The exercise of the will is an interesting point of reflection for the stay-at-home or homeschooling mom. We have a lot of freedom. We set the schedule. We make the appointments. We discern levels of involvement. We are the CEO, the manager, the cook, and the janitor.This freedom is so good. It is partly why homemakers have a particular duty to preserve leisure in our culture (but that’s another email for another time). This freedom also presents unique considerations. After all, if we make the schedule and the rules, then we can say there is no schedule and there are no rules, right?A piece of our self-discipline as homemakers is identifying the priorities of this season and being sure we steward our time and energy well.How do we do that? Let’s look at some practical ideas.   The Life Planning   I mentioned it above, but a significant step in self-discipline is getting very clear about your priorities. The Lord has been teaching me about this a lot this summer. He has given me my assignment in this season. When I cease hemming and hawing about it, looking to my right and left, I have much more peace.It is worth taking this to deep, extensive prayer. It is worth sitting down with our spouses and reviewing the priorities of the season. And it is worth structuring our lives around the assignment. Boundaries Boundaries look different for different people, personality types, needs, seasons, and vocations. But they are important!Once we have identified our priorities, it might be necessary to put some boundaries in place to ensure those priorities are nurtured as needed.For example, one boundary I have set this year is protecting our school time in ways I have not done in the past. Unless otherwise impossible, I am not scheduling kids’ appointments during our blocked school times. I’m not taking meetings. I place my phone on “Do Not Disturb" and put it away.Notice that this is a boundary I’ve set for myself. No one is demanding that I have a dentist appointment at 9 a.m. or that I answer their text message immediately. But I know myself well enough to recognize this is a necessary boundary to protect the priority.   Flexibility + Fortitude It requires self-discipline to make a plan and set boundaries, and it requires self-discipline when it all goes to pot.As mothers, we must be flexible because there will be hiccups. Things will regularly not go according to plan. Ideals are often massacred by toddlers and teenagers.These are further opportunities to exercise self-discipline. We get to discipline our minds. How will we respond? Will we throw up our hands in resentful surrender (I have no idea what that’s about. Never done that before.)? Or will we face pivots with fortitude, doing the best we can and giving the rest to God?   Longevity The last point I’ll make on the topic of self-discipline for mothers is that we must accept the Lord’s grace and realize that we are in a marathon.Sometimes self-discipline looks like true self-care. Maybe it’s going to bed earlier instead of watching one more episode so you’re better rested. Maybe it’s taking a walk outside or reading a book instead of checking Facebook. Maybe it’s making time for dedicated prayer. Maybe it’s eating an actual breakfast so you’re fueled for the day.Remember, the motive of self-discipline must not be self-hatred. We can honor God by stewarding well the bodies, souls, and minds He gave us.We want to be able to serve Him well for as long as He has us in this field.   The Font + Fruit In our desire and effort to grow in self-discipline, our aim is to give glory to God and to allow Him to make us saints. This is simply not possible apart from grace and the action of the Holy Spirit in our lives.So once again, I entreat us all to pray. It is the font and fruit of self-discipline. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. We are all always students at the feet of the Teacher! Comment below!

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Building Their Lives on the Liturgical Year - Into the Deep

by Olivia Spears

Building Their Lives on the Liturgical Year

“The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children.” - Charlotte Mason  Order is something we all strive to have in our lives. It makes the world go ‘round and helps create a sense of security throughout childhood and adulthood. Maintaining a smooth, rhythmic schedule aids your child in more ways than you can count. Having a rhythmic home life is good for the body, but having a rhythmic liturgical life is good for the soul.  The Faith isn't simply meant to be learned; it's meant to be lived. Things such as reading about the lives of Saints and understanding the seasons of the Church can be done during any time of day, not only during religion class. Leaning on the liturgical year provides a structure in your children's lives that can accompany them into adulthood. How Living the Liturgical Year Now Impacts their Future as Catholics An impactful way to help children as the next generation of Catholics is having structure built within their spiritual life. Helping your child increase attentiveness to their faith will aid them in growing long-lasting habits in their love for the Church and the Lord.  Reading the Bible as a family, attending Mass every Sunday, and praying the rosary are great ways to have a lasting impact. A good liturgical option is to keep up with Saints’ feast days. There is a feast every day and there are multiple ways to celebrate. Reading a summary and then praying to the Saints daily is a fun and mindful way to keep up with the liturgical year. Another great option is considering a liturgical planner for your child. A planner is used to organize the day to day events. Your child can not only keep track of the upcoming week, but also see different religious feast days and holidays, such as Christmas and Easter.  A Structure for Worship The Catholic liturgical year organizes the Church's celebrations and events, providing a structure for worship and reflection. Having a religious structure encourages orderliness in the soul. Order is physical as well as mental. Following the ebb and flow of fasting and feasting within the liturgical year is a physical reminder of the liturgical year.  For example, let's say that, at the beginning of the week, you fill out your planner. You include things like events, birthdays, work schedule, weekend plans, etc. A liturgical planner works the same way as a normal planner, but it has Catholicism filtered into its pages. What a fun way to help your child grow in their faith!  Continuous Contemplation Living the liturgical year allows us to remember the life and teachings of Jesus and to deepen faith through various liturgical seasons and feasts. Remembering the Saints that have lived out the faith serves as an inspiration for Catholics. Contemplating the faith daily helps with spiritual growth.  Catholic Connection The liturgical year helps to create a sense of unity and community among Catholics worldwide. Community is something we as humans need. We usually look for people that we can relate to, sympathize with, similar beliefs, etc. Connecting with other Catholics over your love of the Faith is amazing!  Check Out our Student Planner!  What’s a fun, immersive way to help your child grow in the faith? Consider purchasing our newest product, the Student Liturgical Planner! This is a great option to encourage orderliness and structure in your child's school and home life. Keeping track of events such as sports practices, play-dates, to-do list on chore day can all be done in this planner. Throw in the liturgical year filtered into the calendar and you have the perfectly-curated Catholic Student Planner.  What are some of your favorite ways to build your child's life on the liturgical year? Give us some ideas in the comments below!

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Help! My Kids are Bored at Mass! - Into the Deep

by Into the Deep

Help! My Kids are Bored at Mass!

Bringing kids to Mass is often a sacrifice of praise in and of itself. Even when tantrums and bathroom breaks are avoided, there's the threat of "boredom." Children have a relatively short attention span as it is, but when they’re bored… Prepare for the whispering, “Are we almost done?”  to repeat steadily until the end of Mass. This is natural and understandable. It also offers us an opportunity to train their attention, patience, and understanding of the importance of being at Mass (even when we're bored).

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