A Catholic View on Work and Rest
We usually keep it pretty positive around here but today I'm going to tell you about something I detest: the phrase, "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."
Often hurled against 9-5s with the intention to increase the army of girl-bosses, this advice is just... entirely erroneous. And you know that better than anyone.
I love being a homemaker. Being a wife and mom is the happiest part of my life. I enjoy homeschooling my kids. And every day of my life involves work. A lot of it. So does yours.
I even love what I do professionally. It is a gift to steward Into the Deep. It is also work.
So how did we get here? Why is the shirking off of labor suddenly the goal of modernity?
As with most hotly-debated topics, there are numerous influences that cannot be conflated to a single recipient of the pointed finger. But I would like to consider two of these factors, and how a Catholic understanding of them helps ease the burden of all our labors (which is only possible with—you guessed it—the Lord).
We don't understand W O R K.
Throughout history, we see that when society becomes divorced from a Godly ethic, distortions are almost immediately heightened in two arenas: sexuality and labor.
It is not surprising, then, that the Church has taken great pains over the centuries to develop doctrine concerning these two arenas so that humanity can receive a fuller understanding of the truth.
These arenas are at the heart of the human person. These are the arenas that God commanded and blessed before the Fall.
In regards to sexuality, we hear God's command in the first chapter of Genesis:
So God created humankind in his image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:27-28)
And His command in regard to work:
The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep it. (Genesis 2:15)
Man was given these good things for holy purposes before sin entered the world. These existed gloriously before the Fall, and cloudily after.
For now, let's turn our attention specifically to the realm of work. The Church has addressed and re-addressed the topic of human work as the world has developed.
There is much to be discussed when it comes to the dignity of the human person, healthy working conditions, fair wages, religious freedom in work, and the ethical use of technology.
(We don't have time to go into those here, but feel free to read Rerum Novarum, Quadragesimo Anno, Gaudium Et Spes, Laborem Exercens, and Caritas in Veritate).
For us as mothers, I think it is helpful to emphasize the Church's point that work is "not only good in the sense that it is useful or something to enjoy; it is also good as being something worthy, that is to say, something that corresponds to man's dignity, that expresses this dignity and increases it. If one wishes to define more clearly the ethical meaning of work, it is this truth that one must particularly keep in mind. Work is a good thing for man-a good thing for his humanity-because through work man not only transforms nature, adapting it to his own needs, but he also achieves fulfillment as a human being and indeed, in a sense, becomes "more a human being"" (Laborem Exercens 9).
Work expresses our dignity and increases it! We become more fulfilled by our labors (when they are rightly ordered, obvi). Work actually makes us more human.
It is no wonder, then, as our world tirelessly searches for ways to be less human that this understanding of work would fall prey. We have become at once ferociously busy and terribly lazy. We don't like doing hard things at the service of another. "Work" is a driving master that we somehow willingly remain enslaved to.
But what we find at the heart of the Church's teaching is the freedom that comes from living in God's plan for work in our lives.
Catholicism claims that our labors do not remain empty or servile but should be tended to in and for love. When this happens, work makes us more of who we really are. We are molded by the constancy of our work. We are purified by its repetition. We are delighted in its completion.
We are fulfilled by being poured out for a worthy purpose. Which brings us to the overflowing good fruit of proper work.
"Work constitutes a foundation for the formation of family life, which is a natural right and something that man is called to... In a way, work is a condition for making it possible to found a family, since the family requires the means of subsistence which man normally gains through work. Work and industriousness also influence the whole process of education in the family, for the very reason that everyone "becomes a human being" through, among other things, work, and becoming a human being is precisely the main purpose of the whole process of education" (Laborem Exercens 10).
Your work in your home—cleaning, cooking, providing, mending, educating—is laying the foundation for your family to be more human (and further, more like Him).
So when you rise again to a new day filled with the same tasks yet different challenges, remember your immense dignity. These duties construct your path to Heaven.
The particular work before you has been fashioned intentionally for your heart, which is so greatly loved by the Father. The obstacles, monotony, loneliness, and opportunities of your specific work is well-suited to who God made you to be. And every time you tend to this work in love, you become more you and you help your family become more themselves.
I truly think that if our world would repent of its greed, it could get on board with this Catholic view of work. However, there is a necessary other side of the coin that, gone without, work will remain an endless fire of output burned at the altar of production.
We don't understand R E S T
Another element of humanity that existed before the Fall was the command to rest.
And on the seventh day God finished the work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all the work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it God rested from all the work that he had done in creation (Genesis 2:2-3).
As worthy as work is in our development as human persons, it must not be entered without also entering into rest. The Church is clear on the boundaries between work and rest:
Work is for man, not man for work (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2428).
Our culture has forgotten how to truly rest because we live for work. This seeps into our own lives, even as we strive to live a fully Catholic life.
When do we rest? How do we rest?
As moms, this is a particularly interesting dance. We are needed at nearly every moment. How then, do we dial-down the demands as much as possible in order to allow the Lord to refresh and restore us?
The sabbath is given to us by God for this purpose. Of course, this is incredibly difficult to guard in our modern society. But it remains a commanded gift because of how much it matters.
Sabbath rest cannot be separated from sabbath worship. Going to Mass on Sundays is an intricate key in understanding the relationship between work and rest because it is both for us.
The word "liturgy" derives from a Greek word meaning "public work." Our worship at Mass is our work and at the same time our rest. Ah! How beautiful it is that everything makes sense in the Heart of Jesus.
Mass is the foundation for our rest and the Eucharist our refreshment. God desires that we live out that rest and refreshment by temporarily setting aside our work in favor of human rest.
If work helps us become more human, rest helps us remain so.
How should Catholic women approach work?
I don't waste much energy in the boxing ring of debate about the morality of women working inside vs. outside the home or if married women should bring in an income at all. I prefer to rest in the embrace of Holy Mother Church who largely leaves that up to each family's personal discernment. That is not my intent here.
What I would like to discuss is the fact that all mothers work; thus it benefits us to know what is our charge from the Lord in that regard. Which brings us back to receptivity.
Women are created to receive love and give it in return. We are created with a posture of receptivity and openness. It is written in our bodies and lived physically within the marital embrace. It is written in our minds and lived when we receive others that society would deem unworthy. It is written in our souls and is lived by receiving the Father's love and pouring it out in our homes and families.
It is perhaps not as easy to comprehend how our feminine receptivity is lived out in our work. We may associate receptivity with softness and waiting and associate work with sweat and toil.
Our best work (unpaid and paid, inside and outside the home) is done from a place of receptivity, meaning it is a response to a need and a call. Always in love.
We make meals and change diapers and wash clothes because those in our care need those things. There is a need (extended invitation) fulfilled by our work (reception and response).
Maintaining receptivity protects our work from overextension and from resentment (more on that below).
The Church explicitly states that women should not be economically or politically forced to work outside the home nor should they work outside the home if it is at the expense of family life:
"Experience confirms that there must be a social re-evaluation of the mother's role, of the toil connected with it, and of the need that children have for care, love and affection in order that they may develop into responsible, morally and religiously mature and psychologically stable persons. It will redound to the credit of society to make it possible for a mother-without inhibiting her freedom, without psychological or practical discrimination, and without penalizing her as compared with other women-to devote herself to taking care of her children and educating them in accordance with their needs, which vary with age. Having to abandon these tasks in order to take up paid work outside the home is wrong from the point of view of the good of society and of the family when it contradicts or hinders these primary goals of the mission of a mother" (Laborem Exercens 19).
What is my work if I am physically unable to work?
What about work if we are rendered physically unable to work, whether temporarily permanently? Pregnancy, the postpartum period, chronic illness, and physical disability are examples of how women and mothers might be hindered in their "baseline" of work.
Many of us can relate to the helpless feeling of being unable to tend to the needs of the home when wracked with morning sickness. Many of us understand the frustration of "falling behind" in our duties when a chronic illness flares.
How are we to see work then? What if we feel like we're failing at it?
The Church protects the right of disabled people to work according to their abilities, "for this is demanded by their dignity as persons and as subjects of work" (LE 22).
Let's apply this to our roles in the home. Disability, illness, or other physical inhibitions do not remove or diminish our receptivity. We are still able to "work" in this capacity because it is written on our souls. No external factors change that reality. So even when our work looks different, we are still at work when we remain receptive to the will of God and surrendered to the present moment in love.
This becomes our work. Perhaps it is the most distilled version. The most raw. The most pure.
Pope Saint John Paul II wrote, "Motherhood involves a special communion with the mystery of life" (Mulieris Dignitatem 18). We simply cannot divorce this reality from a woman's work. This is the great work.
How can I avoid growing bitter in my duties or resentful toward my husband?
Our work as mothers is often mundane and repetitive. This is the wonderful refining fire that we sometimes embrace and sometimes reject.
It is a common temptation of the enemy to attack us in the place we are: 1) most powerful, and 2) most vulnerable. It is no surprise, then, that he would hurl darts toward our role in the home, for he knows the weight it carries.
This question is harder to answer specifically because it is such a matter of the heart. We should first tell the Lord about our fatigue, bitterness, and resentment. We should ask for His aid and His deliverance.
Many women can also experience a resentment toward their husbands for working outside the home when they feel trapped by the responsibilities at home. This is understandable, especially on the difficult days or in tumultuous seasons with children. But the sooner that can be eradicated, the better. Every marriage is different, but clear and honest communication can go a long way. What is needed? How can you be supported? How can you find regular moments of reprieve?
How do I avoid finding my identity in my work, even inside the home?
Prayer.
When we remain in communion with Him, He will remind us of our identity again and again. Only in prayer and the sacramental life will we be regularly purified from our idols, including work inside and outside the home.
This is, perhaps, another grand secret of avoided burnout and discouragement.
The other day, my friend Rita and I were discussing the toil of family life. She said wisely (and joyfully), "We're just not home yet, so we have to keep working."
Whether she realized it or not, she was summarizing what the Church ultimately teaches about our work here on Earth. It remains toil post-Fall, even as the Lord brings about a greater good through it. Work is work. It is difficult. It is tiring. And it will be a part of our lives in some shape or form until we are Home.
And there, we will find our great rest.
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